Just did another AC session with Joline. She's comfortable, not unhappy, and contented. She's just waiting for her time to be up.
She went to the vet clinic yesterday for another pain-relief jab and a RBC booster jab. Just now, during the AC session with @charlenechua_ac, Joline asked me to stop all treatment for her. She doesn't want any more to be done on her. She also asked Charlene to tell me to stop frequently checking on her. When she wants affection from us, she will actually let us know. When she has enough of attention, she will walk away from us as a signal to us, and we should not follow her. Okay, we will respect that.
I asked if there is anything she wants from us. Nothing. She spends most of her time and likes to look out of the window, so we will make arrangements in the isolation room such that she can go to a platform to look out of the window. Then I asked if she has any favourite thing she wants. She said "no", but later during the session, she showed Charlene a bolster of sorts. Turns out it is a soft toy in a glass cabinet, which is currently accompanying Umay's urn. I told Joline I would give her a new one.
I asked Joline if the pain is bearable for her. She doesn't want us to prolong her life, but she doesn't want to "go" yet. She said death is not something she can control, but the deal with her is, if she finds it too unbearable and needs help from us to let her go, she would go into the carrier left opened in the room, and sleep there and not come out. That would be her signal to us that she wants us to PTS her.
I asked her why she keeps hiding below the table. She said that is the only place we cannot see her. She's right. Our CCTV has no visual access to that particular spot in the room. She basically just wants to be left alone.
Oh Joline, you're a hard nut. All I want for you is to be happy. And know that you are loved.
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